Skater Profile: Stormy Waters

Every team, like a living organism, has a heart, muscles, lungs, kidneys, a liver and a brain. Those are the people that bring more than their skates to practices and bouts: the women that give up their evenings and weekends to do various chores to make a team function. If I were to describe Stormy Waters, she’d be ORD’s brain, the frontal lobe to be precise. And the cardiac muscle. And the liver. In fact, it is hard to place her because Stormy is everywhere and it’s really difficult to imagine our league without her.

On skates, Stormy Waters is, well, terrifying. Tall, strong and unforgiving she hits hard and precisely as she fluently moves across the track. Her uncanny grasp of strategy and rules makes her a pivot to recon with; I would dare any blocker not to follow her lead. I’ve always thought her skater name was very befitting, so when I ask the question how she chose her name, the answer surprises me. “Well, uhm… funny story… I went on lots of name generator sites and ended up on porn name generator, and Stormy Waters came up. Later, I discovered that there actually is a porn star called Stormy Waters!” Obviously, we have to google it and end up looking at pictures of enormous tits and much blondness. (Note to readers: please have safe search function ON if the curiosity gets better of you)

Stormy joined the team in its infancy, in 2011. “A guy in a tattoo parlour gave me a flyer and I came to a practice. I have been coming ever since -”. “Oh, I didn’t know you had tattoos,” I note casually. “I don’t. I just fancy people that do.” As she has been with ORD from the beginning, I’m curious how she views the team today. “Oh, it’s a completely different team! I remember our first bout – we had no clue what we were doing. When benching the Wiltshire game, I realised how much we have grown.” At this point, we both get a bit lyrical about the recent ORD win in the Heartlands series, one of the most exciting bouts I’ve seen so far. “The main difference is the communication on track. The girls don’t have to talk; they just know what needs to happen next,” adds Stormy. “And how do you want to see the team develop in 2013?” “I want more skaters to get involved in running the team and taking responsibility for its future. I can’t wait for the B-team to form!”

“What’s your personal target for 2013?” Her eyes glisten as she whispers, “To bout again…” The second half of 2012 was not an easy time for Stormy. Just as she recovered from a knee injury, she broke her ankle during a practice and was off skates for six months. “Coming to practices and not being able to skate was so hard. All I wanted was to put my skates on! I had to hide them because just a glimpse of the wheels would make me sad.” Obviously, the injuries didn’t prevent her from working for the team: NSOing and bench managing (still on crutches), leading strategy sessions for the newbies and running the treasury together with Celtic Tiger. “There was a point when I almost gave up and was thinking about leaving the team. But then I saw them play and realised it was just not an option: they are my family.”

“Apart from derby, what do you do in your spare time?” She looks at me confused, “Uhm-, I watch derby!” Yes, of course, silly me. “I read a lot”, she adds. “Anything apart from Harry Potter?” In case you didn’t know, ORD seems to be a conclave of Potter-worshipers; I’m certain there is a secret entrance to Diagonal Alley somewhere in our sports hall. “Yes! I love trashy romantic novels. You know, the ones you get with the newspaper. The trashier the better” I glance at her surprised. “My favourite is called Damsel in Distress…But they do have to have a plot!” She proceeds to describe an intricate love story between an abandoned house wife and a policeman. Or was it a fireman? Not sure, as my mind still attempts to reconcile the concept of Stormy the Romantic with Stormy the Hard-Nosed Roller Girl.

As we wrap up to watch some derby, Stormy pleads, “Please make me sound more interesting when you write this up”. More interesting?! I don’t think I can beat the reality. A fearless skater, ORD’s strategy guru, treasurer and secretary, named after a porn star, hanging around tattoo parlours and reading trashy romantic novels for fun. I couldn’t have invented it if I tried.

Do you want to learn how to skate like a roller girl? It doesn’t matter if you are an experienced skater or if you have never had skates on your feet. It is irrelevant if you are 18 or 48, exercise junkie or sports challenged, devoted derby fun or just curious what this is all about.

ORD Fresh Meat Course will take you through all the essential skills, from your first steps on skates to rules and game strategy. ORD is an all-female team, but men are welcome to skate with us; whether you want to play merby (male roller derby) or become a ref, a Fresh Meat course is a good start.

Note: You must be over 18 to join the course.

The course will run from Tuesday 16 April to 18 June, 6.30-8pm in Blackbird Leys Leisure Centre. The first session on 16 April will start at 6 pm.

How to enrol: join our facebook event or  email us for more information.

Last Saturday at 6.58 pm, Blackbird Leys Leisure Centre was not a quiet, chilled place as the sudden roars of 300 roller derby fans shook the building to its foundations. It was the final jam of the battle between ORD and Wiltshire Roller Derby and it couldn’t have been more exciting.

The beginning of the first half of the bout saw Wiltshire establishing a firm lead and Oxford working hard to catch up. With frequent penalties and power jams the scores fluctuated heavily but Wiltshire kept the lead finishing the first half 81-50. The second half did not start well for Oxford as Wiltshire added massive 50 points to their lead. Slowly, jam by jam, ORD managed to claw back some points and with 2 minutes left on the clock, the difference was around 30 points.

“All we need is a power jam,” I made a quiet prayer to the derby gods. I’m sure I was not the only one whispering this plea as in exactly the same moment the Wiltshire jammer was sent off and Dread Ditto whizzed through the wall of blockers. And as she circled the track scoring points, the crowd went wild. “Only one more point!” I heard someone scream. As the final whistle shot through the air the score was 178-170 to Oxford. It’s difficult to describe the euphoria that followed, but let’s just say that last Saturday at 7.00 pm, Blackbird Leys Leisure Centre was a very, very happy place…

More reports from this bout and information about the Heartland tournament can be found at the Heartland’s website.

Skater Profile: Celtic Tiger

The first thing you notice about ORD’s newly elected Vice Captain is her ever-lasting enthusiasm and the rather sexy Irish accent. Without helmet and mouth guard she reminds me of Julie Andrews: sunny and innocent. “Sooo sorry I’m late – the blood just kept on coming!” The vision of green fields alive with the sound of music crashes at my feet.  Did she just say “blood”?! Not sure I want to know, so we quickly leave the reality of day jobs behind us and start talking derby.

Celtic Tiger describes the beginning of her derby life. “I got quad skates when I was 5 and I used to skate around the block till I was about 11. At university, I decided to pick up skating again, bought skates but never really ventured out further than the neighbourhood playground. The first thing I did when I moved to the UK was to google skating + Oxford and ORD came up in the search list, but it wasn’t till I met Spank Anansie and Cowley Quinn that I decided to give roller derby a go.” Celtic Tiger joined ORD in April 2012 and quickly became a valuable member of the bout team. Looking at her slender figure, you would not have guessed the strength of her blocks and hits.

What do you remember from your first training session with ORD?

Celtic giggles “I remember falling constantly, laughing a lot, and thinking that this sport is just crazy! I felt like a kid. Actually, I still do every time I put my skates on.” I’m curious how she became such a good player in less than a year. “I went to Skate Heaven boot camp last year which really boosted my confidence.” Her eyes sparkle with excitement. “A lot of what happens on the track is simply about communication. Before the boot camp I was the quiet one – now I know how to roar!” Indeed, Celtic’s roaring was prominent in the recent bout against Vendetta Vixens where she debuted as a pivot.

How to you prepare yourself for the Heartlands Series?

“I visualise a lot. I run through scenarios from our previous bouts in my head and analyse how we could use our successes in the future games. I go to a cross-fit gym 2-3 times per week – it’s a combination of weight lifting and various work-outs, so that I build up my strength and agility.” On top of skate practices 2-3 times per week, this sounds to me like a very busy schedule so I need to ask, “What do you do to relax then?” The answer comes without hesitation, “I skate! There is no better stress relief than skating!” Then she adds almost embarrassed, “And I read books about worms. I love worms…”

What are your personal targets for 2013?

“Oh, I have so many. But the main one is to become jumpy jammer by June.” The answer surprises me as Celtic’s passion for blocking is obvious “I know. I love blocking and it’s a shame to the limelight is mainly on jammers. It’s such a great feeling to force a jammer off track and prevent her from scoring points.” She pauses thoughtfully, “But I have never jammed in a public bout and I think this would make me a better blocker.”

What do you want to achieve as Vice Captain?

“My role will focus on the new skaters in the bout team – making them feel as part of the team and supporting their progression to A-level. I also need to develop better feel for strategy and always keep eye on the game.”

What would be your advice to someone considering joining ORD?

“Watch a bout! You need to understand what this sport is about before joining. Some people join to learn how to skate but then discover that the reality of derby is not for them.”

We continue chatting about ORD, Heartlands and derby life in general, and when Celtic dashes off into the cold windy night, I feel excited; I can’t wait to see her play in the next bout, and for the jumpy jammer to be revealed. It is going to be the year of the Tiger, I’m certain of that!